As much as I struggled to keep my finances in check, ultimately, it was safety that stuck me down. For context, I recently got into my first traffic accident, where a electric pole was leaning towards the roadway, struck my semi. Sure, perhaps if I had been more aware of my above surroundings, I could have stopped in time to see it. Though I got no citation, and had multiple witness reports that said the city knew that it was a dangerous hazard to the roadway, my company still said it was a preventable accident, and terminated my contract with them, due to previous accidents. So this is the end. A ruined reputation, where no company (besides the crappy ones) will want to hire me, because I’m considered accident prone.
That’s all the companies care about. Doesn’t matter the hundreds of times I’ve had to acted with diligence to avoid dumb drivers. It’s the few times I messed up that dictates my character. I guess this is the end. I loved trucking, but hated the way companies treated me as nothing more than a number in their grand cog wheel. I’m too broke to afford to start my own authority, so thus ends my career.
I never thought I’d ever be a truck driver, yet I feel in love with it, and saw myself doing it for a career. I became a O/O because I wanted to get away from corporate control. I fucked up by not saving up money, so that’s on me. But I’m just left with disappointment in myself, and bitterness for the industry. Trucking school was just four weeks, with one in class week for the mega carrier I got hired on for, and two weeks otr mentoring. So no surprised I made a few mistakes when I had to do backing at night. Those first three months were hell, and I wanted to quit more times than I can count. But I stuck in, and did my best to perfect myself, and abilities. I still had the occasional mistake along the way, but I managed to make it past a year. I had proper trucker etiquette, never blocked the fuel islands, slowed down to let semis pass me, let people get onto the highway when coming off an exit. I did everything I was told to do, and followed the implied rules, yet none of that mattered. I drove through the George Washington Bridge, delivered to long Island and Paterson. Gone up to places like Michigan and Maine, all the way to Texas and Georgia. Drove through New York snow storms, and Southern thunderstorms. Yet, in the end, all I’ll be known as, is accident prone…
When I worked at Walmart, I was praised and received rewards and badges. I fucked up from time to time, but my managers had my back, because they knew I was a outstanding employee. I never felt that with trucking…
I never received traffic tickets, allows had a good attitude to anyone and everyone, and didn’t act like a steering wheel holding. Yet, I got punished for doing the right thing, and reporting my accidents. (Company literally filed a accident report, because I dented a shopping cart when I was trying to get into the docks at a store) I feel like I would have went farther if I just acted like a steering wheel holder, and I hate that I feel that way.
In the end, all I am left with is disappointment in myself, and bitterness that I was failed by the industry, and punished for doing the right thing. I really wanted to love trucking…
